love, relationships, self love

Lost & Found

As mentioned in my previous blogs, I suffered from childhood issues and these issues were prominent in my crazy 20’s! Confusion and chaos was theme of my life during this season.

My life was an example of what the lack of love, nurture, guidance & structure can look like in adulthood! But what I didn’t realize was that God was keeping me protected as I was building my testimony back then!

What was I up to in my crazy days? Let me put things into perspective for you…

Lets just say my values were limited to high heels & daisy dukes. My theme song was “Get Money” featuring Lil Kim. Lord help me!

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Side note: I am soooo grateful that social media was not out back then! #hotmessdotcom

Along with lost identity issues, I was operating from an fear-of-rejection box. The fear of rejection took precedence over self-respect.

I exposed myself to danger on many occasions, but unbeknownst to me I was protected! #thankyouJesus

I remember feeling so uncomfortable back in those days, but my master skill of suppression was “helping” me cope with the self-inflicted pain.

“But I was cute though and had a body, so whatever, don’t be a hater!

Lol, what a mess! I’m glad that I can laugh now, but sadly, this was my mindset back then. #smhdotcom

Back then my mind was fogged with insecurities, it was so hard for me to process a clear thought. I was so disconnected from my feelings, “But I was cute tho…”

Back then my main focus was looking good on the surface, meanwhile overflowing with inside pain. I didn’t know my self-worth & I was so detached from my true identity, “But I was cute tho…”

Back then you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t Lil Kim, “getting money”. I didn’t have time to go back to school and earn a degree. I was so out of touch with my reality, “But I was cute tho…”

Thank God, those days are behind me!

Divine Intervention! I was covered and protected by the blood of Jesus, because I had a future purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

After surviving my childhood & subsequent trials I can’t afford to tell my God thanks but no thanks, I chose to accept the Gift of Salvation!

I still have a long way to go, but the the fog has been lifted & I can see more clearly now! Glory be to God!

I now have a better understanding of what the bible says about:

  • Giving His only begotten Son (John 3:16)
  • The gift of Salvation (Romans 6:23)
  • He created me for his pleasure not mine (Revelation 4:11)
  • Mercy & Grace (Hebrews 4:16)

What box are you operating from? I encourage you to consider the Gift of Salvation, redemption…a life make over. To experience True Freedom, so you can go from Past to Purpose and transform into that unique, beautiful butterfly you are destined to be!


Love you, praying for you & God bless!

Thanks for reading!
Feel free to comment & share!

2 thoughts on “Lost & Found”

  1. Very encouragement words may God continue to use you it’s so many out there need to hear the story lost and found lost myself would I ever find my self yes you will just stop looking back love it you already been found just look up

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